


Times are Changing

by lilolilyrae



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Don't copy to another website, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Bar, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, M/M, Pride Parades, Temporary Steve/OC but nothing except kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Steve Rogers in the 21St century.(Eventual Stucky)





	1. Chapter 1

_The twenty-first century is different to the world Steve grew up with in more way than one. _

_He knows many people would think him to be too overwhelmed or too old or too busy to notice the subtleties of it. But he does. Oh, he certainly does._

Sure, in the first days and weeks after coming out of the ice, Steve is too shaken to look around properly, only seeing _new, different, wrong._

But once he has settled in, as good as he can given the circumstances, he starts to _notice_.

Men, holding hands on the street despite SHIELD's notes on american social clues (Material originally for comparison with similar slides on other cultures, particularly for assets and spies in foreign countries- it works well enough for someone from a different time, too) saying this is usually a sign of romantic affection only.

Once, at a restaurant, two women kissing each other on the lips, gently and with more than just friendly affection.

And the flags! Steve doesn't remember the rainbow being much of a symbol for queer people in the 40s, but it gets obvious really fast that this has changed, it is everywhere and with the word 'pride' attached- queer people are _proud_ of who they are now, no longer hiding in the shadows. 

Steve doesn't really know why _he_ keeps hiding this part of himself- but well, SHIELD and then his team apparently all think he's too much of a homophobe-from-the-fourties to ever even bring up the topic, so he doesn't really feel like sharing. 

And if he went public with it- there's so much more attention in him already these days, worldwide, and he doesn't know whether he wants any more of that.

What he does want, however, is to get to know this 'LGBT+ community'. 

Transforming just enough of himself to go unnoticed via makeup and hair toner and a posture that's just a little less military-straight- because yes, he's actually good at stealth when he needs to be, and not just because of the war, also because of sneaking off to certain places just about eighty years ago now- and he's good with this kind of makeup, too, it's not all that different from drawing faces on paper, and now at least he van afford the right tools.

His target tonight: a gay club.

Once he enters, Steve feels stunned.

Yes, there were similar places before... But still. Now this is so different, so out in the _open _more than anything he could have ever imagined...

Overwhelmed, he stays clear of the dancefloor and goes to bar- he really needs a drink right now, and even though the alcohol won't do anything for him, at least the glass will give him something to hold on to.

The drink he gets is a pink, sugary monstrosity in an oddly shaped glass and with a tiny umbrella. Steve's first thought is- _if the ---commander--- sees me with this, he's going to hate me for ruining Captain America's image._ And then he feels like crying and laughing at the same time, because that guy is long dead and in her absolutely no-one cares about him having a 'girly' drink.

As he is lost in his thoughts, he barely notices a man approaching him before he says: "Hi there, coming here often?"

Steve opens and closes his mouth, staring. "Um, no, sorry, actually this is the first time I'm in here..."

"Hey didn't want to freak you out, sorry that was a bad pickup line anyway... Alright, let's try this again. I'm Henry!" he extends his arm and they shake hands. 

"Hi, i'm Steve" he probably should have given a fake name, but he can't bring himself to be sorry.

"Nice to meet you, Steve" Henry grins, and he does look kind of nice... "Want to dance?"

Steve downs his drink, and even though no alcohol can get to him, it still feels like liquid courage.

"Okay"

Clearly amused, Henry takes his hand and leads him to the dancefloor.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is so short, I have more in form of bullet points already but I had it in my drafts for almost a month now so ao3 was gonna murder it if I didn't post sth already xD


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-09-27

Steve has never danced like this before.

Sure, he's seen all the guys dancing when he went in, but this- wow, this is really something else. Definitely nothing like the stuffy ballroom dances of the forties, and while it might also have something to do with the fact that he's dancing with a hot guy instead of some girl, it definitely also feels good to be close to someone, physically close- in a way he hadn't let anyone come close to him since-

No. Squashing that thought, Steve turns around in Henry's arms so there are face to face- their lips are so close- he's seen what some of the other people on the dancefloor are doing, surely it wouldn't be wrong to-

And they are kissing. 

Kissing turns into snogging turns into stumbling into the hallway and snogging some more against the wall, pressed together and it feels so good, it almost feels like it could be- like he could pretend-

With a gasp, Steve turns his face away from Henry, eyes shut tightly.

Henry immediately takes a step back, stops touching him.

"Hey, you okay? I didn't do anything-?"

Steve shakes his head, and even though his eyes are closed, he can feel tears streaming down his face. He wipes them away angrily, but he can't make them stop.

"Hey- honestly, you okay? Too much to drink? Should I get you some water?"

"That's not it" Steve croaks out. "I'm not drunk, I- just-" he sinks to the floor, shivering. Super- strength doesn't help you much when you don't have the mental energy to keep telling your legs to stay upright.

"Hey, if I did anything to make you uncomfortable-"

"No, no" Steve grasps Henry's hand that's on eyelevel with him. "It's just- oh, hell" he lets go again. "Sorry, I'm a mess and just wasting your time, you can go..."

"Hey, don't say that, I'm not so desperate for sex I'll drop you when you obviously got some problem-"  
Henry struggles to sit down, swaying a bit. "Probably had too much to drink anyway!" he laughs, before immediately turning serious. "So, want to tell me what's going on?"

  
"I- my best friend." Steve lowers his head onto his knees. "Well. I was- I am, fuck, I _am_ in love with him, and I think he was- with me- too, and now he's dead!" he breaks down into sobs. "He's dead and I never- we never- what we could've had now..."

"Oh, fuck"

Steve sobs quietly, head between his knees, hiding from the world. This world that is so very different from what he knows.

"Sorry- you didn't sign up for, for my-"

"Hey, no, it's okay. I mean not _okay_ obviously but I mean- ugh. Can I give you a hug?"

He nods, and Henry draws him close.

After a while, Steve's sobs cease- Henry gives him a glass of water a drunk girl brought for him some time earlier, probably thinking that he's even drunker than her. Steve is grateful.

"Need a ride home?" Henry asks, getting up and extending a hand to pull him up.

Steve freezes.

"I don't want to- I'm living with friends right now, and..." gesticulatinf at his current state, Steve makes a face.

Henry Noda, understanding.  
"You can come with to mine, if you like- not trying anything, I mean, I've got a couch..."

Steve smiles shakily. "I'd appreciate that."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-09-30

The next morning, Steve showers at Henry's place until his hair is blonde again and the rest of the make-up washes away from his face. He looks like Steve Rogers again- like Captain America. Recognisable.

After getting dressed, he walks into the living room. The TV is running. He knows he could walk out unnoticed, not disclosing his identity- but after how Henry helped him last night, pure kindness and expecting nothing in return, he feels that he can't.

The news are on TV as he walks through the doorway, showing, of all things, the last battle of the Avengers. Great. Well, he already made his decision, so it might as well be really fucking obvious.

Henry turns around and immediately does a double take. "Holy _fuck_ you're Captain America!"

Steve winces. "Yeah, that's me... look, I'd really appeciate it if, you know..."

"Hey, I won't sad anything to anyone!" Henry lifts his hands as if to show that he's unarmed- that he doesn't intend to do any harm. "Outing someone without consent is a shitty move amyways, and I get it, okay? Coming out is hard, some people do it later and some never come out at all and that's okay man and for you, with all your backstory, I mean, also from where, hell, from '_when' _you come- just, as long as you are okay with who you are...? Fuck, I'm rambling, but this is a bit of a shock, okay, not only is the superhero gay he's also standing in my flat!"

"I'm bi actually" Steve says, laughing. "And no, I don't have any internalised homophobia if that's what you mean. I don't think I ever believed in that bullshit. And- I don't mind the rant at all. Been a while since I had someone not try and treat me like I'm made of glass or try to kill me."

"Well, that's good then" Henry says, relieved."I mean, not the part about other people- nevermind. Um. Sounds like you might need a friend? You have a phone, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I left it at the tower, pretty sure Tony is monitoring my- everything."

Henry makes a face. "Sounds like no privacy, man. Well, I can still give you my number, and you van get a prepaid phone or something, and if you need someone to, I dunno, talk about queer stuff with or about your- friend, or just don't want to go to a party alone..."

"Thanks" Steve mumbles while Henry scribbles numbers on a piece of paper. "I appreciate it."

"No problem, man" Henry gives him the number and opens the door for him.

Almost outside, Steve turns back around. "Why- and don't get me wrong, I mean it I really appreciate it- but why are you doing all this?"

He shrugs awkwardly. "Well, I wasn't always so keen on being gay myself, you know? And if some of the older kids hadn't helped me find myself, who knows... so, I'm really just repaying the favor"

Steve smiles. "Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-09-27  
No guarantees that I will ever finish this, I know myself and starting with tiny chapters is never a good sign... Well at least this one isn't a cliffhanger? XD

On the way home, Steve gets a new phone just like Henry had suggested. He's not sure whether or not Tony can manage to hack into it or something as soon as he enters the topic- he manages to deal with modern technology alright, but he definitely doesn't know all the specifics- but leaving it in a safe location outside the tower just seems a tad excessive. Well, even if Tony sees his messages- it's not as if he is ashamed of anything, and at least he tried to keep his privacy. 

_Hi, this is Steve_

He texts Henry as he walks into the direction of the tower.

_Hi! Got home okay? _

Henry texts back almost immediately.

_Yeah, going inside just now _

Steve answers 

The '...' indicating that Henry is typing pop up and disappear again, then show for a while.

_Hey, this is going to be long sry in advance, I just wanted to say sry if anything I did yesterday caused ur panic attack or what that was? I mean, damn, now that I know ur Captain America that makes ur story from yesterday even worse... Fuck, you grew up, when, in the 40s? That's pre-stonewall, right? Fuck, wait, do you even know what stonewall- ok ill stop I rly just wanted to say sorry and I hope you're ok and if u need anyone to talk to..._

Steve smiles at his phone. He starts typing a reply when he sees a flash of red hair in the corner of his eye and quickly deletes what he had typed to instead send

_Sry 1 sec gotta go ran intk Nat._

"What're you smiling at?" Nat asks him as he looks up, leaning against the wall. "Had a date last night? I _told_ you if you just went out there and met some women-"

Steve rolls his eyes. Natasha is such an open minded woman, why does she still automatically assume that he is straight??

"Nope" he replies, thinking 'if she wants more than that, she can just as well ask', and then hearing a voice, a memory of a voice, call him a 'stupid little punk just trying to start arguments for no reason'. Well, maybe Bucky'd be right. Still.

Nat tilts her head. "Did you get laid, then, or why are you only just coming back home?"

Steve gives her a Look and walks towards the kitchen.

"You know, there doesn't have to be anything shameful about the walk of shame!" she calls after him. He actually laughs.

_No don't worry about it, Yes and yes and yes I know about it, I have google now too :P_

He texts Henry, pretty proud about his use of an emoji. He would've loved to have those in the 40s for sure.

Before he can see Henry's answer, Steve hears a squeak from his left.

"That- what _is_ that? That is _not_ a StarkPhone!" Tony gasps, about as exaggeratedly shocked as Steve had expected. 

"People have tech that isn't Starktech, you know" Clint says from where he is perched on the ---, yawning into his coffee-spiked cereal.

"But not in my tower! And not cheap prepaid phones! What the- Steve, why?!" 

Laughing, Steve goes to make himself some breakfast, too. Tony doesn't even try to take the phone away physically, just wailing on and on about the merits of the newest StarkPhone and all the customizations he could make for Steve and and and- until Bruce comes in, gets one look at the situation and tells Tony about some project in their workshop, distracting the other one immediately. Steve takes it as a win.

'Interesting place, this future,' he thinks on the way up to his flat, 'I think you would have liked it- would have liked them, too.'

And it almost doesn't hurt to think about him at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2019-10-02  
Quick POV Bucky interlude!

The Winter Soldier doesn't know Captain America. He's sure of it. He doesn't care for that red and blue figure. And everyone he works for tells him no, he doesn't know him, so it must be true.

Then why does he _feel_ something for the man in the uniform? And why does the man know him- call him '_Bucky_'? Something must be there, some past between them... The Winter Soldier isn't stupid. He knows he barely has enough memories to fill a year, let alone an adult life. He knows what happens in that chamber, knows many of his memories are lost. So it could be true...

He almost kills him, still. He is a killing machine. It doesn't matter what he thinks he feels. He is _made_ for this.

But the Captain- and somehow, when he thinks that, without the 'America' attached, it starts to _mean_ more, while still not meaning _enough_ and he can't explain this sensation- the Captain doesn't fight back, doesn't hurt him, and it doesn't make sense to just give in, it's so illogical- illogical enough to make him think, realise something, anything, must be wrong.

And when the Captain falls, he jumps, and saves him.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

_Bucky is alive!_

Steve is shaken to the core. 

After everything is over, after he fell from the helicarrier and Bucky _saved him_ and whatever else happened to the others in the meantime-

He isn't thinking about the near death experience or Hydra or any battle or the Avengers or SHIELD's problems at all.

_Bucky is alive!_

Steve is trying not to think about how Bucky survived, with hydra of all things, about how he didn't recognize him, either...

It's just _Bucky is Alive,_ like a mantra stuck in his mind.

It's everything, means everything to him. Because Bucky means everything to him. 

His teammates don't understand, and suddenly Steve curses himself for not telling him about the true nature of his feelings for the man, or at least about his sexuality, so now they might have guessed... he could tell them now, too, of course, but he can't find the energy to even try to search for the right words.

No-one understand him. No-one feels his pain, no-one could possibly understand...

No, wait. Maybe someone could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2019-10-06  
I knowww this is tiny but I'm busy moving from one dorm room to the other and didn't find the time for more soooo...  
I so have the outline for more and longer chapters already tho, so stay timed!


End file.
